Have you ever had a little cold that made you want to rip your own lungs out? Really? Well if you want a taste of kick.your.ass.cough. come on over to my house. I think I am actually pulling oxygen out of pure mucous, because I know there isn't any space for real atmosphere to enter into my lung space. I officially have a compromised respiratory system. Man do I sound (and look!) really sexy. The good thing is that no one wants to bug me because they know that with one swift sneeze in their direction, I can wipe them out.
However, I am still going to work out during lunch.... yes, I will try to take an antibacterial shower before I go, and will clean my equipment off thoroughly. Trust me, anyone in that gym who even hints at having a booger is mad dogged by the rest of us until we are satisfied with the disinfecting process. I may be a disease carrier, but I certainly don't want to expose anyone else to my own personal misery....so don't try and break into my car because I personally cough and wipe my nose all over the door handles to keep hoodlums and vagrants out. You may not get the instant gratification of seeing someone with a knife wound or a karate chop to the forehead, but the satisfaction of knowing that they will be crabby and tired and a hacking mess within a 24-36 hour time period, well, that's worth the head phones and old McDonald's toys that they stole.
So I'll take it easy, but will still try to get some mileage in, even if the oxygen to mucous ratio is now 1 : 5,620.
No comments:
Post a Comment