Too old for diapers, too young for depends....

I want to start with the caveat, I love my kids regardless of the physical and mental (my family and I want to sincerely thank the creators of Zoloft) havoc that they wreaked upon me.  However, besides the extra 10 or uh, 20, few pounds I have left over, there have been "other" not so fun effects. *gross bodily function warning coming up*  After I drank 3 pounds of Tom and Jerry batter with a gallon of liquor Saturday night, it was time to hit the pavement for 3 miler before the snow came.  I had some company:

It wasn't a solid 3 miles, we had a lot of start and stops, but I'll take that kind of run any day.  What I DON'T want is this cold.  You've heard of "incontinence", right?  I don't neccessarily think I've crossed that line (yet), but let's face it...I've had three kids.  Out of my vagina.  And it's not made out of elastic.  So at about 2.5 miles, I felt a slight, but substantial sneeze coming on.  I should have stopped.  I know that now.  Or I should have done 1,243 kegels a day like my OB Doc told me to do.  I obviously thought that with age and weight gain, my vagina muscles magically got stronger.  So yeah, this wasn't just a little dribble.  I peed my pants.  Dammit.  And I was .5 mile from my house.  With two of my kids.  And the dog.  Shit f*ck.  (This is an actual term when things are really bad.) 

It wasn't pleasant, but we made it home and into the wash.  Both me and my underwear.  YOU might have thrown them away, but if I threw away all of the underwear that me and my kids peed in, well, Fruit of the Loom stock would be well into the thousands of dollars per share.  All in all, the run was good, I was able to "naturally" keep my upper thighs warm and my kids were none the wiser.  (I want grandkids some day, so there is no way I'm telling Makenna that the chances of her peeing her pants in her mid thirties are MUCH greater than when you are 3.) 

More Christmas concerts today and tomorrow and some shopping...and a hot toddy or two (or six or ten).