More...

Thank you to those who have given me some encouragment on my upcoming unemployment adventure.  I am not making any rash decisions just quite yet.  We have two and half years, and I thought I would try to spice up my resume a bit and add some "eye" catching talents to it.  So I may take up pole dancing or fire walking or trick water skiing.  With my piss poor back, my portfolio my be a little weak, but coupled with my other accomplishments (pushing three babies out of my va-gee-gee, my killer roast beef recipe, and keen ability to rip one and blame it on the co-worker next to me by only using hand gestures and head pointing) I am pretty sure I'll be able to land another job with no problem.  If not, you look me up in the "Red District".  I'll be the one in the window covered fron head to toe, offering roast beef and quick spin on the pole only.

Not saying that there hasn't been any stress on this side...I mean, hey. Our house hasn't sold in Lockwood so we are doubling up our mortgages, one of our rentals is still being rebuilt from a fire last year, and I am out of a J.O.B. And this is why God made wine. And Vodka.

I also need to shop around for some new tires for my vehicle.  I used to LOVE my Denali XL.  Until I had to start driving it 50 miles a day at a whopping 14.4 mpg.  I get to see Deb, the Exxon tenant, at least once a week.  I get to hand her a $100 bill each time.  I am beginning to hate seeing Deb.

Ok now, everyone needs to KEEP.THIS.TO.YOURSELF.  But I actually started running picking up my foot right before the other touches the ground.  I need to do this.  I swear I found Cole's skittles from last week in one of my stomach pouches.  I must have fell asleep on the couch and it got LODGED. And I am trying to wear tighter pants, just so they lift my butt cheeks up.  I am taking it slow because I don't want to mess my back up more, but hey.  That's why I have an orthopedic surgeon on call.  Doesn't everyone? 

No Words, No Wisdom

First off, I wish I had some serious wisdom that said, "Damn Bob, you should have Blogged and let your whole ten two (Kate and Tisha!!) say, hey bag-face, spill your guts and let us read it, judge your decisions and regurgitate it to you...if your lucky!!  :-)  Love you two!!

OOKAAYYEEE...  we moved back to J-Town.  I LOVE it.   I remember the high school days that my mom knew EVERYTHING.  Then my husband and I bought the campground that I am I pretty sure that Casey Smith was the first boy who touched my "toilet paper stuffed" A-bra boobie in slip #3. Wowza!  But we are not running this as a campground right now because. A: We have no biznes-ess doing this, and B: I have no more boobies wishing to be touched by Casey Smith. 

My cool memories of Katherine:  Kate...you were smart and athletic, yet a friend to everyone.  Everyone liked you and you were such a cool girl.  :-)   I had such a weird perspective upon myself (because I was always the weird kid!!) but you could give a rip!

TISHA!!  I remember when you told me to run 5 miles whenever I got my period and then it would go away.  A: I have NEVER run 5 miles in my life and B: Your girls are so lovely....why don't you want more?  :-)

OK....other stuff....  My plant is shutting down in 2015.  I am major sad.  I hate the liberals and those that are not informed of our government.  Obamama will wants to transform us into a soctialist country and I hate that. 

More tomorrow.   Thanks Ms. Rupp.  You spurred me to write more.  God Love You.  :-)

Ashamed!

And embarrassed!  I mean, not the point of wanting to hide in a closet and eat ice cream and drink wine, both from a box...but still.  Feeling a tad selfish. 

The summer has brought a lot of heat (not just my salsa folks!) and some bad wild fires.  :-(  I hope all of my Montana friends took the time to donate at least some old clothes or something to the victims of the fires in our area.  They lost everything.  EVERYTHING.  I was so proud of my kids for donating some of their things that I thought were precious to them, but when they found out that some kids lost all their clothes, shoes, toys, blankets, and even pets, they gave...and gave...and gave.  Sorry Annika, just because you want to give away your shampoo, doesn't mean you don't have to take baths anymore.  Sheesh.  ::eye roll::

The 'ol back-a-roo is doing much better!  I am pretty sure I could probably start scrubbing toilets and floors again, but I am now intrigued at the cool looking mold/bacteria colors of the kids's bathrooms.  I think I'm going to start treating the water with some of my antibiotics and write up the results for my old science profressor.  SEE Mr. Seaton, I do give a damn about science and not just boys (well, sort of).

And hold the phone, Mrs. Jones....Cole is Potty Trained!!  Holla....Bomb Bolla!  Well, for the most part.  He will go number 2 in his under-roos once in a while, and it's usually something convenient like at your Mother In Laws house after bragging that her nearly 3 old grandson if FINALLY potty trained.  Oops...I guess Thomas the Train cotton is more like a $5 diaper.  I am NOT cleaning those out and reusing people.  I will sell my weird shaped Kidney before I do that.  He did, however, find out why boys can't sit on the potty and poop and pee at the same time.  At least I HOPE he knows.  If not, I'll be buying stock in swiffer pads.  :-/

Anyhoo, for a cliff hanger (I know all ten of my followers are DYING right now...not) we've got some big news coming up!  Hang on to your hats, or shirts, or fake fingernails...

Whoa...

So it's been a while, huh?  I love being funny, witty, and direct humor towards myself when things are going dandy.  If not, I tend to recluse and pretend that this blog doesn't exist. Yes, I tend to self diagnose my pyscy (not sure how to spell that and the first word Blogger spell check put up to replace it is pussy.  So I'm leaving it. I don't think anyone should self diagnose their pussy.  We have OBGYN's (and hand mirrors) for that.)

We had our anniversary this weekend.  12 years!!  It was fun.  We stayed in Red Lodge and pretty much ate and drank our faces off.  I was unable to perform my annual pole dancing extravaganza, due to some minor back issues, but we were still able to conjugate yet another year of marriage.  Listen up little girls...it's not for the faint of heart, but with enough silent treatments, guilt trips and crying fests, you two can be happily married. 

There was also this article in the paper this morning.  "Dads worth less than moms (at home, at least)".  Now, since my dear hubby is home every summer with the kids, and I am still humping it away at the power plant, sometimes tensions can rise just a tiny bit.

Me:  "WTF???  You made burritos again for lunch?  Don't deny it because no one put the dishes away and I can see the remnants of refried bean and salsa on that plate!"

Pete: "We had left overs today and that was YESTERDAYS bean burrito's that you probably didn't clean up last night!"

Me: "I am going to shoot you in the face with this bazooka."

Pete: "Yeah, whatever.  You always say that."

So this article will be an interesting topic at the dinner table tonight, in which I will probably make and clean up after....with my trusty bazooka strapped to my side.

Does this happen to anyone else?  Does you husband do more house work than you?  Does anyone know where I can recharge a bazooka?  (I'm going to be using it a lot more I think)

Roll'in....

So the weather has been phenominal and so we've spent a bunch of time outside.  I love the spring and summer, as it gives me an excuse to completely ignore the house (God help the laundry room...crap.) and hang outside and crack open a beer at 2pm. and stay hydrated.  The best of news is that I got my IV PICC line out today!  Hooray!  I'll be on a year of Cipro (oral antibiotics) so all in all, a good day.

We were thinkig of camping this weekend, but with snow in the forecast for the mountains, I'm thinking we'll try a movie or something dry....like a martini.  Just not much in the mood for 3 kids and husband in a 28 foot fifth wheel.  No thanks says my sanity.

Something New...

Instead of a depressing, self absorbent post, I thought I would try and give a positive perspective to what I've been doing.  First of all, I've been walking 2-3 miles per day and even broke out into a trot!  I personally found out what the meaning of "disentegrating degenerative disc" really is.  Ouch.  And I mean Ou-the-fucking-ch.  I guess those cute little ovals full of spongy cartiledge and nourishing blood do have a very important health function to our bodys.  I wish I had my other two back.  Dammit.  So the most I'll be doing is walking until I shit is fused and salmonella is back in weird eggs and yellow finned tuna or where ever the hell I got it from. 

I also have been doing some research on natural anti-inflammatory's...aka....AID.  The anti-inflammatory diet.  My research started with the guys I work with that are 60+ and have arthritis, osteoporous, bosteoporous....oldomanoporous....  haha.  But yeah....when you are the one eating with the guys who can predict thunderstorms that are 3 days away by navigating their knee towards the north pole (or however the hell they do it) you know your desperate. 

This is what these guys eat to keep their bodies from swelling up and consuming 389 ibruprofren a day.  Did you notice the wine at the top?  :-)  THANK YOU DR. WIELS! 

So this has helped the inflammation in my back a ton.  I feel so much better now that I have been eating these primary foods.  I love it!  Except I found dark cocoa almonds today.  Hello Crack. 

Attitude...

That's what everyone keeps telling me.  It's all about attitude and how you deal with disappointments in life.  And I'm not talking about shit like, "I'm sooo disappointed that Kim Kardashian wore that hideous yellow top and not the cute silver one!".  (I like those K girls though...they're bringing the big booty back and those of us who have big backsides appreciate it.  Suck it you anorexic bitches.)

Yes, my back is still inflamed and still infected and I still have the real possibility of more surgery.  Super!  At least now I know what food to order from the cafeteria and I can get my St. Vincent's frequent patient card punched again!  Just a few more to go and I get free robe!  The other great news is that I get to have my IV PICC line and antibiotics in for six months.  Holy Shit....I could almost give birth to the whole damn contraption.  But for the sake of "attitude" here are some positives about 100ml of Ciprofloaxin twice a day for the next six fucking months:

- No more UTI's (urinary tract infection) for me!  Bring on the sex baby...I'm as pure as the driven snow!

- Whooping cough is becoming rampant in Montana but guess who's not going to get that nasty bacteria?  THIS GIRL!

- Al Quaida wants to shower us with Anthrax?  Bring it on bitches....You'll have to use some pretty nasty bio warfare to kick this girl to the curb.

- I have a direct line to the 'ol pumper if I want to shoot up and get high!  I don't have to worry about trying to find new veins in between my toes.

So there you have it.  You may think I'm being cynical or crass, but for just a short time, you can take this "good" attitude and shove it up your ass.  I'll be diving into high fat foods and liquor tonight to "celebrate".

Say What?

Wow...blogger has a new format.  All of you "non-bloggers" (those of you who prefer to keep your most inter secrets and family life private...weirdo's) won't see it, but behind the scenes there have been some cool changes.  I need to redo my page.  Anyone know how to do that?  Or do I have to call a decorator?

I still have this love/hate relationship with my beautiful IV PICC line.  I love that it is preventing my vertebrae from being completely eaten up because hey...I've already got two solid fusions in a row...I hate to be a pig about things and want the whole fucking thing to be a solid mass of bone.  I hate that I have a line running throughout my veins and close to my heart as it's not natural.  But, neither is my hair color and nails, so I suppose I can deal.

I am still a little stiff in the morning (that's what she said...) but when I get moving a bit I tend to be a little more flexible.  Think walking without a limp, not back bending my way down the stairs.  So shit seems to be coming together. 

I had an MRI on Monday and will find out if my back is salmonella free on Friday.  Since I'm considered a "normal" patient now I have to wait for my results like everyone one else.  MRI's make me think of a penis going into a dark scary place....if you've never had an MRI you have no idea, and now when you do have one you won't be able to get that out of your mind.

Real Friends...

You just gotta love your real friends, right?  And let's face it.  At my age, I've gone through more friends than tampons.  The real ones just keep coming back...just like your period.  God, I hope I don't have any male readers, and if I did, I just lost them.  Sorry boys. 

My hair dresser tried to cheer me up and told me that I could just put Vodka in my saline flushes for my IV line and it actually perked me up considerably!  Anytime things get old, or boring, or I just need a good drunk, I can flush and go!  Brilliant! 

I had to cut my hair this weekend since it is falling out in bucketfalls.  It is pretty much see through.  Good thing is I am saving a bundle on shampoo and I can dry it by sticking my head out the window on the way to work!  Wheee!  Promise to post a picture soon.  I'm still trying to figure out to style this sum-buck, and I've managed to look like an 80's styled hippee, mix.  I'm thinking of calling it the rattee. 

It was so super nice this weekend, and I am DREADING the fact that I have to work all week.  I loved bumping around in the yard and watching Pete and the kids work....while sipping my Mai Tai....getting my feet rubbed and eating bons bons.  If you know anything about me, you know that most of that did not happen, but some of it did.  Guess away...

Off to Lewistown this weekend with just us girls!  Meaning BIG GIRLS.  BIG GIRLS that can drink and gossip and get loud without their kids or husbands being embarrassed or humiliated.  It's gunna be fun!

Jealousy.....

My new PICC line....don't be jealous!

Yes, I have osteomylitis in my back.  The vertebrae right above the fusion that had the ginormous salmonella abcess.  Coincidence?  Don't think so my dear friends.... iiiitttt'ssss baaaacccckkkk.  Uggh.  will this ever be over?  Or will I always know all my of 7 doc's by their first name, the names of all of their nurses and their kids, and get directed straight to the head physician with one phone call (I'm on the St. Vincent's frequent user program...I can feel you all turning green with envy!).

In other random news...I finally read the Hunger Games trilogy.  Each book took me one day.  Sheesh.  They were that good!  Still have some nightmares that have to deal with bees and birds, but other than that, I  think the underlining meaning drove itself home.  I've been eating non-stop ever since.  Pretty sure fat wino's won't have their kids thrown into a deadly arena.  My theory, at least.   I'll let  you know how that goes.

No news is bad news, eh?

I am finally pulling myself out of my sad and pathetic state of feeling sorry for myself.  I have a little bump on the recovery road and I decided to drown myself in high fat food and depression.  Now I have an extra 5 pounds and some serious acne to try and get rid of.  Nice discipline Bob...reeeeeeaaal nice. 

So now I'm back on my PICC line with anti-biotics twice a day, and they look like I'm walking around with my own personal pee bag.  I'm sure this will not only drum up some sympathy, but will also keep the pan handlers at bay.  No one wants change from someone who holds liquid bodily waste in a pouch in their hand.  I am sure I will also have lots of time to think of other fun ways to use this to my advantage.  I'll post pictures later, just so you all get to know what we are dealing with here and so you all can add your own thoughts and suggestions!

I have also come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to start working out soon. Not that I'm gaining weight all that much, however, the "jiggling" factor has seemed to creep up.  And I have this nice roundy type belly going on that is begging for a sit up or two.  So I may have to "think" about hitting the gym, ever so lightly, and reintroducing myself to the world of "fit" once more.  Boo.  I'll probably eat nothing but ice cream for a week after that.

So that is what has been going on in Mwah's life.  The name of this blog is certainly accurate when talking about Bushman being busted (up).  But I'll be running, lifting, and being ever-so-sassy sooner rather than later, so watch out.

Oh Wait!  I can't believe I did this, but I finally read the "Hunger Games" even though I vowed I wouldn't ever read them, ever, never.  It.was.awesome.  Seriously.  Can't wait to to read the next two books and check out the movies. SO GOOD!

3 month anniversary

Yes folks, it's my 3 month anniversary from my back surgery, so my docs want to see me for 5 minutes and collect their $1200 per visit to make sure things are healing.  I am semi nervous about going into see my ortho pedic surgeon this afternoon.  I've had some back pain and pain makes you wish for crazy things. 

Me: "My back freak'in hurts man!  I can't bend over to paint my toe nails and they look like shit now!  How the hell am I supposed to drink beer on Friday nights with my girlfriends in cute sandals if my feet look like Shreks???"

Doc: "Oops!  My fault, let me give you a little tweak here and walla!  Your back is all better and I just made you lose 10 pounds and 5 years of crows feet~!  On me!  Here's a glass of wine for all your troubles!"

Ok, so that's probably not going to happen, but a girl can dream and hide single serve box wine in her purse for the ride home hope for the best.

Funny how the spring sets the mood for the outdoors and forces you to be in a good mood.  I can't help but love our neighborhood that is full of kids playing in streets and yards and riding bikes and scooters.  We have a very secluded subdivision and their are about 5 billion kids.  I love it here.  I just wish we had a pool, with a cabana boy, that looked like Brad Pitt, in the "River runs through it" years.  I keep telling my husband how much money we would save because we'd all be living in our swim suits and the laundry would be cut down to nothing...but he doesn't believe me....

On Birthdays and Spring

First off, I am loving those new commercials from some foot wear company's.  The ones that show some tough freak'in athletes doing some serious cross training and being fit and buff....now, none of them look like they are even old enough to have a period yet, let alone 3 kids, but it gives us "big boned" girls a sense of acceptance into the world of yoga-thin.  (Yoga-thin would be the women who are thin enough to actually go out into public, to their dojo-candle-sweat lodge, wearing yoga pants and nothing but a sports bra, regardless of the time of year and looking hot as nails.  I am a gym-er...I wear sweat pants and a hoodie that is big enough to be a robe down to my knees until the VERY last moment of undressing.....2 inches from the treadmill).  So yeah.  I like these chicks who are lifting logs over their heads and shit. They are going to kick some serious ass and make it when Dooms day shows itself.  For sure.

We have some birthdays coming up (Pete's and mine) and I am shocked that both of us would rather celebrate St. Patty's day than our birthdays.  Hell, I would rather celebrate my left boob being smaller than the other one than another birthday, but I was surprised that Pete didn't want me to through him a 3 keg shin dig with all my girlfriends and relatives some of his buddy's.  Hmmph. 

I love that spring is really here, but she seeems a tad early.  Fat people love spring but hate summer.  Summer makes us very aware of how much more skin we are exposing than others in our trendy new tankini's, and we sweat more than a whore in church, pig in church, pig doing a whore....  than a lot of others.  So I'll bask in the sweetness of a mild spring and pray for a cool summer full of turtle necks and more sweat pants.

So this blog went down hill fast, but you know that means I'm feeling sassy once more.  Suck it.

Still Kick'in...without really kick'in.

Yeah, I think it's pretty obvious that I slacked at home.  Just a little, or a lot, or at whatever level you consider me on the couch, watching re-runs of Teen Mom 2 and lifetime movies until 3:20 pm which is 10 minutes before Pete and the girls would get home from school/work, and then I would throw dishes in the sink and/or garbage, whatever was closest and turn on the washing machine and dryer, even if neither had any clothes in them.  See, honey?  I was BIZZY all day long.  And I'm sick, remember...*cough, cough*. 

So now that I'm back to work and actually contributing to the family income once more (and to the local economy, because it's MUCH easier to meet my girlfriends for beer after work versus when I was home all day....you know, I'm showered AND dressed.  Neither of which happened in the same day very often in the last couple of months...sick people, I was siiiickkk, *cough, cough*)  my energy has popped up a notch (can you believe that I really didn't need 15 hours of sleep a day?  Who knew?) and my wardrobe ensembles have more than quadrupled!  I now wear jeans AND a clean shirt, every.single.day.  GO ME!  (Don't ask what the alternative dress atire was.  It involved picking up the closest T-shirt that I almost tripped over getting out of bed, giving her a good sniff and if no passing out occured and something wasn't living in it, she was a winner.  Yeah, I didn't have a lot of visitors who just popped by after a few days of shit like that.)

However, I have found that it isn't always mind over matter.  Like my back freak'in hates me.  It hurts. ALL.THE.EFFING.TIME. (Effing=fucking, by the way.  I mean hey, my mom reads this shit!)  Sitting, which used to be my favorite past time as long as it involved an alcholic beverage coupled with a good friend, is now my enemy and my very expensive SUV is the worst.  I am starting to hate that car.  I look like a freak show getting out of it.  Try sliding down the side of your seat, but not bending or moving your back in any manner.  Good times.  But I shake it off, knowing in just 8 short hours, I have to sit in that damn hurt locker again.  Do you think I would get a huge raise if I just started sleeping at work?

Off to fuel my coffee habit, so I don't look like a pussy at work.  Anyone who doesn't drink at least 15 gallons of coffee a day is habitually teased, and since I can't run away very fast, it's just easier to fit in and pick on someone weaker.  Yes, I am that kind of person....sue me.

Getting out and about....

So last Thursday I went "out" at night, all by myself, without my husband or kids, and even drove there myself.  Now, I'll be the first to admit that it wasn't to go out "club'in", or to have a few beers, or even to meet a friend at Taco Johns to pig out on some Mucho Bravo Ole's, or whatever the hell those are.  It was a Bunko party at my cousin's house.  There is a reason people serve abundant alcohol and food at a Bunko party.  'Cause folks, Bunko is stupid.  Maybe I'm saying that because I actually tied for dead last at the end of the night or maybe I'm saying it because I am not a big randome dice kind of game lover.  But the fun part was getting out and gossiping with all of these ladies~  God I miss gossip and talking to anyone above the age of 9.

Most of these ladies were either dental hygenists or worked in a dental office setting of some sort.  You've never seen a room full of the whitest, cleanest teeth in the world.  It was hard to hide my coffee/wine stained chompers while sipping my beverage of choice for the night, Bud Light lime.  I'd never make it at a dental office with my horrible bad habits.  I'd be broke trying to keep the image.

I've been walking still, even though it's been cold outside...the wind just rips through you and it.is.cold.  But I've only got a couple of weeks left before returning to work, so I just keep trudging along, knowing my walking/lifting/rehab etc, will be shortened, if not cut all together once, I go back to 40 a week.  Nothing like a half million dollar hospital bill to not only be completely appreciative of  your job, but the insurance they offer.  Unbelievable.

It may end up snowing a bit tomorrow, so I'll be walking early and bundling up for the rest of the day.  Keep warm and safe my blogging friends!

I think I want a Hoveround....

Those commercials always intrigue me...you know what I mean.  The one where the guy is singing in his Hoveround and it shows Grandma and Grandpa about 6 inches from the edge of the Grand Canyon.  I don't want to live in one, by any means, but I could see myself cruising down to the neighbors and maybe taking a trip to Cancun or something like that.

I am also returning to work very soon and actually looking forward to it.  I went in for a few hours the other day and things felt "normal".  And since I haven't had that feeling for a couple of months now, it was, well, nice.  Not sure how to fit in my daily nap (which can occur anywhere from 10am-4pm, depending on my mood) but the small details will work themselves out.

I will say that I'm going to miss my Physical Therapy sessions and the people there.  My fellow PT-ers (who are all about 89 years old and most have weird monitors and tubes coming from all kinds of orifices) finally started to accept me and called me "honey" and "sweety" and congratulated me on my progress.  When I first started I had to take the outside lane on the walking track around the room and watch someone's great Grandma zip by me carrying her oxygen bottle on the inside lane and giving me the "I'm kicking your ass" smile each time.  I finally graduated to the inside lane and boy did I show her (not really, but it was nice to be in the "fast lane").   And I'll miss Christine, who not only got me walking again, but showed me that I can do 4,589 squats and even though I had to pee standing up to avoid using those quad muscles, I can survive. :-/

I went to my gym to just check it out and see what machines I can use and what is going to have to wait.  It seems like I've been trying to lose weight my whole life, and to be at the gym to increase muscle mass and endurance seemed strange to me, yet very refreshing.  So when I go back to work, I'll still be going to the gym and working on being fit, even if a half marathon isn't quite in the near future.  Hell, maybe it is, and I just don't know it yet. 

With that, my dear friends, I'm signing off....

The days go by and sometimes I forget to keep all fourteen of my loyal followers an update on the life of Bobbi and my drivel observations.

I know now that I will never be able to thank everyone that impacted my life or that of my family's while I was in the hospital.  As I start to go back to the things in my life that were "normal" for me... I run into countless friends and aquaintenances and their friends and their family members and friends after that.....who were all kind enough and cared enough to pray and support me and my family. And guess what my dear friends...I needed EVERY.SINGLE.PRAYER.  One less and I may not have made it.  No kidding.

So "Heil Christine" (my physcial therapist) has been at it again.  OMFG.  (Oh My Fucking God).  We did 30 half squats with the ball, 30 full squats and then 30 wall squats.  I pretty much had to pee standing up for the next 3 days.  Harder than you think, by the way.  So now I am nobody's hero and will certainly make mention when I think too much is, well, so much that I have to slide down the stairs on a sled.

My ass still has no shape and I have to wear a swim suit to my oldest daughters Birthday Party on Sunday.  woo hoo.  (lower cases were purposeful and that was supposed be to dripping with sarcasm)  I'm currently looking for spanx-the swim suit version.  No luck so far...I'll keep you posted.

My floppy foot is in better condition and no longer catching on, well, everything.  I know the real test will be this summer, when we are camping, I am wearing my flip flops and we start the day out with either a red beer or a bloody mary and end it the same way, with several variations of both throughout the day. 

With that, I'll bid you all a good night, and promise to blog soon!

Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain

I love this quote because this is why I joined my Rodan + Fields business and I have never looked back.  If you are interested AT.ALL.  or just have questions, please let me know and message me on FB!! 

Doomsday and being a statistic~

Ok, I'll admit, I watched the two series premir of "Doomsday Preppers" last night and now I have the uncontrolable urge to go to Costco and buy up every bag of beans that they have.  And maybe that big bag of gummy bears too (you know that they have enough preservatives in them, that they'll last for decades...).  Some of those people mean some serious business.  Most of them have several hundred guns and they all know how to lock, load, aim and shoot.  It's pretty impressive to say the least.  One set of folks were preparing their community with songs, welcoming gestures and love, as they don't like guns and think that if they invite people into their community and show them how to grow food and sing songs, violence will be averted.  You know that they'll be the first to be wiped out.  Idiots.  If Doomsday does show up, I'll look like GI Jane...with a saggy butt and a pot belly.

I also found out that I have a funky kidney.  Not in the sort that it wears tie dye and has a big peace sign on it.  But it's smaller and only functions half as well as my other kidney.  Shitballs.  So now I have to take care of the big one like she's Ghandi.  Crazy, huh?  So if any of you were hoping that I would be a donor to you some day, you are going to have to wait for quite some time.  Unless you only need half a kidney.  Then, I'm your girl!  Another fact to chew on: Septic Shock Death Rate is 25-50%.  I thank God every day that I am on the other side of that 50% and I am a living statistic.  God Bless you all!  xoxo

Life, Love, and Pain....

Yes, I'm still alive and well and rehabbing my ass off.  Speaking of which, my ass is actually very flabby.  I lost 30 pounds in the hospital, and the weird thing is, it truly was all muscle.  No shit!  My legs and arms look skinny now, yet I still have this little pot belly and my damn ass is dragging down to the back of my knees.  Don't you think those Docs could've done a little "pick me up" with some of those saggy areas while they were doing emergency surgery to save my life??  (I'm being sarcastic here folks...or maybe just a little wishful...)

But...my Physical Therapist, Heil Christine The Super Nazi, is whipping me into shape.  OMG.  I usually ask her to carry me back out to my car, and when she laughs in my face like I'm joking, I look longingly at those lucky old ladies with their wheel chairs and curse those PT girls in the hospital that got me up and walking.  Bags....

I also took a cute picture of the fun med's a get to take 3 times a day...good times for sure. 

So if any of my 10 readers are 'script junkies, you can see how secure my drugs are.  Yikes.  Maybe I should just take all the lids off, and have a blinking light right to them for the kids.  Ya think?  Yeah..maybe this is a parental fail, but you can just add it to the list.  There have been several hundred in just the last few weeks. 

Off to take a percacet and about 35 minutes right after that, it's lights out for Ms. Bobbi.  Trust me, these drugs are pretty safe.  Hell, I can hardly get the damn lids off most of the time.  Nighty night BlogWorld!

Good Days and Bad Days.

Yep...I have good days and bad days.  The good days I feel strong and ready to take on the day, and on bad days I am sore, hurting and don't want to get off the couch.  Can I distinguish why one day is so different than the other?

Nope...which is why I try to contemplate this fact several times a day.  My back is doing pretty good and it really only gets sore when devil woman from hell  Christine from Physcial Therapy gets a hold of me.  Lucky me, I get to see her tomorrow again.  For an hour this time.  Gulp.  I am trying to infect myself with the neighbors cold, but unfortunatly they said they were all getting better.  Brats.

I can't believe that throughout all of this my Rodan + Fields business is still rocking!  I am amazed.  And thankful.  I'll take that 4 figure check anytime!  If you are thinking about joining me and my business, I am ready to train ANYONE!  You can do this!  https://bbushman.myrandf.biz/

Walking, walking, and more walking....

That is ALL I DO.  I walk...a lot.  I get tired easily, but my endurance is growing.  I know I've reached fatigue when floppy foot starts dragging on me.  Damn floppy foot.  She's getting stronger and I can feel the nerves repairing themselves (my foot is sooo sensitive and tingles all the damn time...uggh), but even floppy foot has a limit. But I have to remember where I was (10 days in the ICU and not in good shape while I was there  :-/  )

Here is a picture of the kids enjoying the most uncomfortable bed on this planet...this was just a week ago:

Here is my back brace, which I get to where for the next 2.5 months.  It's kind of like a corset, except I don't get to dance or wear a frilly dress or talk with an english accent.

Good times....

So I'll leave you with some wisdom from my 8 year old.  "Just think mom, when you get to take your brace off, you can sweep the floor again!"  Goody....looking forward to it babe...  ;-)



Love, War and Physical Therapy

So, by now you all have figured out that I was sick, now I am doing rehab for things that I used to take for granted, (like being able to bend over and pull my underwear up after I pee....yes, this is very critical to the back impaired and takes time and thought to figure out how to pull those damn things up if they accidentally slip below the knees) so my blog is going to take a turn south, and I'll probably focus more on my pain and misery and less on running a half marathon in July for a bit. 

So my dear husband is being a fabulous coach, and being a total jerk about making me do every little bit of PT even if I really want to curl up on the chair and watch old reruns of Seinfeld all day motivator and I was able to walk down to the bus stop and back today.  I also did a bunch of laps around the driveway early this morning which felt really good to be outside in the sun, even if it was a little chilly.  So that, along with my arm weights, it was a great day!  And it's Friday, so I might even sneak in a beer tonight.  :-)  

Well, tomorrow is some fab football games so I will update everyone in a couple of days.

Anyone ever have floppy foot?

Long Time....

Yes, my good friends, it has been a long time.  I have literally been through hell and back this last month or so.  Friends and family know the whole story, but in a quick synapsis, this is what happened:

I had some back pain around Christmas Eve, and went into the ER 3 different times that weekend.  The third time, I was thrown into ICU because all of my organs were starting to shut down from sepsis, which was from salmonella poisoning.  The docs found salmonella in all of my organs, my spinal fluid, urine (gross!), you name it.  I was in the ICU for about 10 days. I had to have back surgery to remove a disc that was harboring the salmonella and was literally mush.  The Doc replaced it with part of my hip bone and that is really painful right now.   I was in a drug induced coma for the most part.  It took me a while for all 4 cylinders to start clicking after all of that.  Eeek!

I was then in the hospital for another 5 days and then in house rehab for another 6.  I am lucky to be home, but I am learning how to walk again, I am in a body brace as well as a foot brace from drop foot, which was a result of the back surgery, so the whole "running" thing is on the back burner and I am focusing on getting stronger and more endurance.  Neither of which are coming easily. 

So I promise to keep everyone up to date with my rehab and I will try to keep it as humorous as possible!  This was just a quick update for you all!